Last but not least, be confident and be who you are. If you can convince them that you can maintain your integrity and be happy with who you are, your in-laws will have more confidence in you. Unmet expectations put a strain on all relationships, but there`s a lot at stake in in-law relationships because they`re part of your marriage. As you get to know your in-laws better, you can find common ground to build on. Try to engage with them at times other than the holidays if stress may tend to increase, as CNN`s website pointed out. You never know, you may learn that your mother-in-law shares your love of reality TV and watches the same shows as you. However, a basic concept that the vast majority of married couples can find common ground on is the idea that healthy boundaries are essential to maintaining positive relationships with in-laws. To make the most of family time, practice some of these 11 ways to improve your relationship with your in-laws so you don`t overdo it at every birthday party. If you have children, it is important to keep them updated on the latest accomplishments and make an effort to meet with them as often as possible if you are interested. Sometimes in-laws don`t want to follow your rules, especially if those in-laws are also grandparents. As Parenting Magazine reported, you can save yourself a lot of headaches by following only selected rules with children. Grandparents love to be pampered, so popsicles before bed might not be as important as you think if it only happens twice a year when grandparents come to visit. Let`s move on.
Time may be running out. Maybe you have a birthday party or even a barbecue. I`d rather you broach your dinner than your partner or in-laws. Read on. The reason you save may be yours. There are also extreme outliers to consider when it comes to complicated relationships between in-laws. These include very different (and overly vehement) ideologies, mental illness, and addiction. Minimal, controlled contact is ideal here, although in dangerous situations it may be best to practice complete avoidance. A therapist can help you manage this more strategically. If working on your beautiful relationship wears you down, try taking it in cans.
Divide your family time into small chunks and choose to go out to dinner instead of hanging out at home for hours while grilling, as Reader`s Digest suggested. That way, when things go wrong, you know it will be over once the check comes. Show them that you know your request and thank you. The more you say those two things, the better. “A united front makes a big difference,” says Dr. Durvasula. “You don`t want to figure things out spontaneously with your spouse while you`re in the crosshairs of your in-laws. If you and your spouse are on the same page, you can follow the path of least resistance with the in-laws and just smile politely and say “of course,” but then do things as you and your spouse believe it`s appropriate for your relationship. “Try not to make comparisons between your own family and your spouse`s. Your expectations of each other will always be different from those instilled in you by your own family of origin, because every family dynamic is unique.
If you can learn to accept this instead of fighting it, it will benefit your relationship. Bringing gifts to an event, dinner or even just a random visit is something that is never wasted. Be sure to invest in thoughtful gift items – The more thoughtful and unique the gift, the higher the perceived value. Also observe your children and how they behave with your in-laws. If you notice disrespectful behaviour, notify them immediately and know that seniors are an important part of any home environment. The dynamic between family members can be tricky, to say the least, especially if it wasn`t your parents who pushed you to the brink. Blasting your mother-in-law for spilling red wine on your new carpet not only hurts your relationship with her, but also puts a strain on things between you and your partner. Your OS is caught between two people who are dear to you and who would probably prefer not to vote for a party. So, making a conscious effort to establish a relationship with the in-laws can also strengthen your marriage. All families work differently and there is no instruction manual on the “right” way to do things. As Reader`s Digest suggested, don`t expect your spouse`s family to do everything the same way your family does.
Staying open to new family traditions and dynamics will help you better understand your in-laws. A night with your in-laws Did you feel nervous? Try not to take every negative interaction personally, as Pysh Central suggested. In-laws are also people and something they will do and say the wrong things. In many cases, conflict is not a one-way street. While you may not be able to iron things out completely, you can improve a complicated relationship with your in-laws by starting with the following tips. People are unique in their own way. Your parents and in-laws will fundamentally change as a result. If you compare them, you will find that the situation is even worse. That`s why you should show them love and affection and accept them as they are. To bridge the gap between different expectations, make sure you and your partner are on the same page, especially on particularly controversial issues with your in-laws. If you don`t treat them with respect, they will never try to build a relationship with you.
They will always have bad feelings for you. Just as flexibility with certain rules can help keep the peace, you also need to make sure you don`t feel like you`re getting kicked toes.